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A Matter of Perspective

This humorous story was sent to me by a friend of 53 years, Greg Stanford.

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking. 

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said ‘nothing’. The reason I said ‘nothing’ instead of saying ‘just thinking’ is because she then would have asked ‘about what?’ At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions. 

Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they “know”? Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn’t really “know”, here is the reason for my conclusion. 

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “It might be nice to have another child.” On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, “You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.”  I rest my case.  Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap in that hammock.

Senior Citizen Jokes

Submitted to me by my brother, Jon.

Senior Wit

1. Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

2. You know that little feeling you get when you really like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

3. I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim” I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

4. Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought “nap time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

5. The biggest lie I tell myself is…”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”

6. I don’t have gray hair; I have “wisdom highlights.” I’m just very wise.

7.  If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have placed them on my knees.

8. Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

9. Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.

10. At my age “getting lucky” means walking into a room and actually remembering what I came in there for.

11. I am what is called a “Seenager” (senior teenager). I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. I have an ID that gets me into bars and the whiskey store.

12. Life is great. I have more friends whom I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.

Karen Key – Larger than Life

 

I’m at the age where family, friends and acquaintances are passing away at greater frequency. It’s a part of life and comes as no surprise. That knowledge  doesn’t make the grief of such events any less painful. Recently the world lost one of its great people – Karen Key. My soul is deeply sad at Karen’s passing.

There are a few people I’ve known in my life that I describe as “larger than life”.  I’d seen that descriptive phrase for years in books I read and didn’t truly grasp the meaning of  it.  My friend, Peter Holthe who was the impetus, actually the creator for FOCM – the website, events, etc was “larger than life”. It was after his passing that I truly appreciated the phrase. At Peter’s memorial service, his college room-mate Byron Pitts was in attendance. In Byron’s autobiography “Step out on Nothing” there is a portion wherein he describes how much Peter helped him in college.

Karen is also a member of this elite group of rare individuals who touch your life and impact it forever. Her consistent kindness, respect for others,  sincere and contagious enthusiasm, love of America coupled with her joy at having fun, smiling and laughing are what I think of and how I will remember Karen.

We met while working at Burroughs Wellcome Co., a unique pharmaceutical company founded in the UK in 1880. It was purchased in 1995 by Glaxo, which subsequently merged with SmithKlineBeecham to become GlaxoSmithKline. I think I met Karen in 1985 while we were both in Sales Representative Trainer Training class. My territory was in southern California and hers was the Raleigh-Durham, NC area.

We both came into the home office/headquarters around the same time. Senior management could tell early on that she was special – one of those people who excel at whatever they are assigned.

We weren’t in touch much in our post-coworker era but our friendship was one of those where that wasn’t necessary. In the most recent 10 years we were back in touch and saw each other more. I had a memorable stay with she and Donna and other BW alumni at their Hyco Lake house. She helped me get my dog Micah into the kayak so I could paddle him around.

Hyco Lake: Karen, Micah and me

The late stage lung cancer diagnosis was a huge shock and she handled it well and fought it with all that her optimism, her doctors and medications could provide.  https://www.clementsfuneralservice.com/obituaries/Karen-Letisha-Key?obId=24530539

Heaven has added another angel. Rest in peace my friend.

 

 

Humorous Look at Gender Differences

A humorous look at men.

Men are simple creatures.
Their last name stays put.
The garage is all theirs.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a waterpark.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never
have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress is $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you’re
talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $12.95 for a three-pack.
Two pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe
decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how
your legs look.
You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men
are happier.NICKNAMES
� If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
Laura, Kate and Sarah.
� If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to
each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

EATING OUT
� When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20,
even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
� When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
� A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
� A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS
� A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
� The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
� A woman has the last word in any argument.
� Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
� A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
� A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE
� A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
� A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
� A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
� A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
� Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
� Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
� Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.
� A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT
FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

March Networking Event Summary

On March 16, the GLSA and FOCM held their monthly online networking event.  We start the meeting with a featured presenter spending 10 – 15 minutes presenting information about themselves and a clinical research topic of relevance to them.

This event featured Wessam Sonbol, founder of Delve Health. Wessam has been in the clinical research industry for 23 years. Many of these years have been in leadership and founding roles in the technology and product development to facilitate trials. He founded Delve Health in 2018.  Delve Health provides innovative decentralized clinical trial solutions to improve clinical trial conduct for patients, caregivers, doctors and pharma/device. Offerings include ePRO/eCOA, eConsent, study tasks, wearables and biosensor integration, EMR data collection and Real-world evidence capabilities.

After the presentation, there were questions, answers and discussions.  We then allowed newer participants the opportunity to tell us about their history in the industry and the group can be of help.

Attendees (bolded names indicate first time attendees):
Wessam Sonbol, Delve Health
Andrew Mulchinski, Symbio Research
Ravipal Luthra, University of Miami, Miller School of Medicine
Heather Hollick, Rizers LLC; Author of “Helpful, A guide to life, careers and the art of networking”
Michael Young, biomedwoRx: Life Sciences Consulting
Mike O’Gorman, Life Science Marketplace
Edwin Gershom, Noble Life Sciences
Taylor Biche, Global Life Sciences Alliance
Holly Cliffe, Global Life Sciences Alliance
Todd Neilson, Global Life Sciences Alliance
Hannah Lloyd, Global Life Sciences Alliance
Denise McNerney, Global Life Sciences Alliance
Joe Buser, Global Life Sciences Alliance
Zulma Varela, Global Life Sciences Alliance
Sally Haller, Global Life Sciences Alliance

https://globallifesciencesalliance.com/

Please join us on April 20 where the featured presenter will be Amy Baxter, MD; CEO and Founder of Pain Care Labs. PCL’s NIH-funded pain relief device is an ingenious intervention to reduce needle pain and fear – improving patient participation in clinical trials.

Selected screen shots appear below:

Delve Health Presenting
Screenshot #1
Screen shot #3
Screenshot with Teddy in lower left
Screenshot #2

 

 

Courtroom Humor

FOCM Member in good standing, Art Coppola (we first met in 1977 in Kaibab-Huachuca dorm at the University of Arizona) sent this series of humorous courtroom dialog.

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY:    What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS:       He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY:    And why did that upset you?
WITNESS:       My name is Susan!
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY:    This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS:       Yes.
ATTORNEY:    And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS:       I forget..
ATTORNEY:    You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY:    Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS:       Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY:    The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS:       He’s 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________ 

ATTORNEY:    Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS:       Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY:    So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS:       Yes.
ATTORNEY:    And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS:       Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY:    She had three children, right?
WITNESS:       Yes.
ATTORNEY:    How many were boys?
WITNESS:       None.
ATTORNEY:    Were there any girls?
WITNESS:       Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY:    How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS:       By death…
ATTORNEY:    And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS:       Take a guess.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY:    Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS:       He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY:    Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS:       Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY:    Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS:       No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY:    Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS:       All of them… The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY:    ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS:       Oral…
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY:    Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS:       The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY:    And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS:       If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY:    Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS:       No.
ATTORNEY:    Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS:       No.
ATTORNEY:    Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS:       No…
ATTORNEY:    So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS:       No.
ATTORNEY:    How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS:       Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY:    I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS:       Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

FOCM Members in Chicago at ASCO

Yes ’tis true I am only 8 years behind in posting photos of members captured at various conferences.

This photo was taken at ASCO in June of 2014 in Chicago.  American Society of Clinical Oncology (ASCO) has been held in June in Chicago for many, many years. It is one of the largest Oncology focused conferences.  It draws medical and clinical oncologist, oncology RNs, oncology NPs and PAs. The exhibit hall is huge and takes place at McCormick Center in Chicago.

I was working at YPrime at the time and was fortunate to be selected to attend. One of the things I love about conferences is running into friends and former co-workers. In most cases, its both. This time I ran into two of my favorites: Erica Hill and Sue Ruane. I’d  met them both while working at ICON Clinical Research.

 

Erica Hill, me, Sue Ruane

Dabbling with YouTube

So, as many of you know I am an extremely well known social media influencer*. What many of you may or may not know is that I have been dabbling in creating content for YouTube. I have even gone to the extreme of creating a character, Uncle Robby.  Uncle Robby stops by to put up and take down outdoor Christmas lights.

For the cooking videos, that’s me, yep,  just me, no character, simply dull me.  After posting one cooking video, my brother (Jon) provided me with some brutally honest feedback and so I enrolled in an extensive series of media training courses*. I believe that my performance has improved immensely.  The entire premise of this particular cooking series is to demonstrate my culinary belief that virtually any food that I enjoy can be put into a tortilla with cheese and salsa and be particularly tasty.

Leftovers from dinner the night before are especially good in a tortilla with cheese and salsa with an egg added making for a delicious breakfast burrito.

I have made a pot roast, carrots and potatoes burrito. I have made a boneless pork ribs, sauerkraut and carrots burrito. My most recent one was chopped shrimp and couscous to  which I added tomatillo salsa, red chiles and red onions.

I trace this back to my childhood. I grew up in southwestern Arizona, about 10 miles from a Mexico border crossing. Mexican food was a staple, such that we didn’t even think of it that way. That the high school cafeteria had chimichangas (fried burritos) as an option everyday wasn’t noteworthy.

The great thing is I’m doing what I love to do and the various platforms on which I post things is paying me to do so. I average around $10,000 per month and am often paid to attend parties and dining events.* People ask to get their picture taken with me.+ https://focmnetworking.com/networking/focm-membership-ceremony/

https://studio.youtube.com/channel/UCfWmjoxVPupz8ZeNwVAh1CA/videos/upload?filter=%5B%5D&sort=%7B%22columnType%22%3A%22date%22%2C%22sortOrder%22%3A%22DESCENDING%22%7D

*Fact checkers have determined that these statements are false.

+Fact checkers have determined that this statement is somewhat true.

February Networking Event Summary

 

On February 16, 2022, the Global Life Sciences Alliance along with FOCM Networking held its monthly online drug and medical device development industry networking event. This was the second event of 2022 and like the January event, we again had 3 first-time attendees. Thank you to super-connector and FOCM member, Nadia Bracken for sharing our event with others.

We spent the first 15 minutes with introductions and general discussion about the weather in various attendees’ cities.  

This event featured a presentation by Kalyan Ghosh, Founder and CEO of Inference, Inc (https://inferenceinc.com/).  Inference, a GLSA client, was formed in 2017 by Kalyan.  He has over 25 years experience in clinical biostatistics, having worked at both big pharma (Merck and BMS) and CROs (Vislation, INC Research and West Coast Clinical Trials). Kalyan is an accomplished presenter and presented an overview of biostatistics and the role that data management and biostatistics have in drug development. 

Please join us next month on March 16 at 7:00 p.m.  Wessam Sonbol, CEO of Delve Health, an e-clinical technology platform service provider and client of GLSA will spend 10 – 15 minutes talking about their approach to patient-centered hybrid and decentralized studies in drug development.

ATTENDEES (bolded names were first time attendees):

Kalyan Ghosh, Inference Inc,
Andy Mulchinski, Symbio
Justin Gundelach, Mayo Clinic
Pauline Luong, Creative Clinical R & D
Chris Bergey, NaviDx
Brian Langin, Matrix Medical
Ravipal Luthra, University of Miami College of Medicine
Jon Matheus,  A.T. Pancrazi Real Estate Services, Inc.
Chris Matheus, Global Life Sciences Alliance & FOCM
Denise McNerney, Global Life Sciences Alliance
Joe Buser, Global Life Sciences Alliance
Zulma Varela, Global Life Sciences Alliance
Holly Cliffe, Global Life Sciences Alliance
Sally Haller, Global Life Sciences Alliance
Hannah Lloyd, Global Life Sciences Alliance
Todd Nielson, Global Life Sciences Alliance

Screenshots of the attendees can be seen here: https://globallifesciencesalliance.com/february-networking-meeting-summary/

 

 

 

Confessions of a Salesman

So after 16 years of selling e-clinical technologies (technologies used in clinical trials), I felt like I had truly absorbed vast amounts of technical knowledge.  After all, sales is learning some words to say in the right order to demonstrate one’s knowledge.

I know there’s probably more to it than that as there are technical sales people that have done real work and know exactly what they’re talking about.  For example, I can say, yes we’ll provide you your data in a flat ASCII file.  I have absolutely no idea what that means, stands for, looks like and how it happens.  There are some who do know. I’m told it’s a computer file (not a manila folder file) that has rows and columns with info in each cell.

So after those 16 years I go to another e-clinical tech company and in helping prepare a proposal I demonstrate my expertise thusly by writing this:

We need some words here to describe the application architecture.  The CIO is to provide some dazzling descriptions of this stuff.  To help him with it, here is a start from which he can edit my text.

We utilize a three layer approach (see image below).  The integration layer, known in tech language as “the back end” has a persistence layer as well as this really cool feature known as “hibernate”; similar to what bears do in the winter, the data rests in small caves until the proper conditions occur for it to be released.  Herein is also a rectangle labeled DAO and another one that says Resource.

In the business layer, we utilize a spring framework, which resembles a complex set of slinkies going down a never-ending escalator.  This endless loops allows for us to refresh data continuously.

For the “front-end” or presentation layer, also known as the user interface (UI) or graphical user interface (GUI – pronounced ‘gooey’), we have 5 rectangles of different sizes and the components of this layer are listed below:

Application Architecture