Saw these in the April 2016 Reader’s Digest:

People are less quick to applaud you as you grow older.  Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.
– Sloane Crosley; writer, from her book “I Was Told There’d be Cake”

Children’s answers to test questions as seen in the book F in Exams: Complete Failure Edition by Richard Benson.

Q: Use the word congenial in a sentence.
A: When you leave the gravy out too long, it congenials.

Q: The first thing Queen Elizabeth II did upon ascending the throne was to…
A: Sit down.

Q: Write a sentence containing a double negative.
A: Mike is ugly and he smells.

Q: Name two plays by Shakespeare.
A: Romeo and Juliet

Q: On what grounds was Aaron Burr tried for treason?
A: New York

Q: Write about the importance of  animals in Of Mice and Men.
A: The mice are very important – without them, you’d have only the men.

Q: Use the word doldrums in a sentence.
A: I cannot play the doldrums.