Sometimes I have googled things like: “wedding toasts” or “resignation letter” to find examples.  Recently I looked up “farewell emails to coworkers” and saw that there are some good resources and examples out there.  Recently while cleaning out my file folders, I found one and thought I’d offer it as a guide or template from which someone can edit.

Hello amigos,

As some of you know, I’m actually 73 years old and despite the injections of botox, HGH and lipsosuction procedures, I’m beginning to age.  The time has come for me to take some time off and get more procedures done all at once.  Recovery will take a while and I’ll not be able to be seen in public.  I’ve resigned from _____ effective _____; however, the company may decide on a different end date.
I’m going to take some time off before deciding on what to do next.  For the upcoming month, my agent will be handling all inquiries.

Until we meet again, happy trails to you.

Disclaimer: nothing in the first 3 sentences is true.

Before printing this email, please consider the lumber industry and print 50 or more copies.