A man woke up in the hospital after a harrowing operation.  Full of dread, he asked the nurse, “did things go okay?”
The nurse replied, “they were able to save your testicles.”
The man let out a huge sigh of relief.  Then the nurse handed him a plastic cup and said, “they’re in here if you’d like to see them.”

Chuck was out walking his 100 pound rottweiler when he decided to stop at the local tavern.  He tied his dog to a parking meter and headed inside.  Minutes later a woman ran into the bar screaming, “whose dog is outside?”
Chuck stood up and said, “mine.”
“You’d better get out there. My chihuahua is killing him!”, said the woman.
“You’re nuts, lady,” laughed Chuck. “how could a little Chihuahua kill my Rottweiler?”
The woman replied, “he’s stuck in his throat!”