submitted by FOCM Member Jon Matheus
HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM WHEN ON A BUDGET:
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men’s used work boots, size
14-16 – or larger.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a
copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads: ‘Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and
Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don’t
mess with the pit bulls – they attacked the mailman this morning and
messed him up real bad. I don’t think Killer took part in it, but it was
hard to tell from all the blood.
P.S. – I locked all four of ’em in the house. Better wait outside.’
Thanks for using the Redneck Security Company