Category: Humor

Have you seen something funny or amusing that you want to share with the group? This is the place to do so.

Joke: Smart little girl on a plane

submitted by FOCM member and former womb-mate of mine: Jon Matheus

An 11 year old girl, who was “pre-boarded” on an airplane because of her age, was sitting reading a book waiting for departure.

A man came down the aisle and found his seat next to the girl.

He said to her “I think we should have a conversation during the flight because they say the flight goes faster if you talk to fellow passengers”.

The little girl closed her book and looked at the the man and replied “We could do that, but what would we talk about”.

The man said “We can talk about God, heaven, hell and the hereafter because I am an atheist”.

The girl said “That would be very interesting, but first I have to ask you a question.  You do know that a deer, a horse and a cow all eat the same thing, grass”.

The man nodded his head in agreement.

The girl continued “Then can you explain to me why the deer poops those little “pellets”, the cow poops those big messy “pies”, and the horse poops the real big pieces?”  After some thought the man replied “No.  I can’t explain those differences.”

Then the little 11 year old girl picked up her book, opened it to her page and said “How do you profess to be able to discuss God, heaven, hell and the hereafter, when you don’t know shit”?

Ventriloquist and a Blonde

Submitted by FOCM Member Andrew Smith

A young ventriloquist, with his dummy on his knee, starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

Suddenly, a blonde woman stands on her chair and starts shouting, “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.  What makes you think you can stereotype blonde women that way? What does the color of a woman’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being?  It’s men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as people.  It’s people like you that make others think that all blondes are dumb!  You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, pathetically all in the name of humor!”

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize when the blonde yells: “You stay out of this!  I’m talking to that little shit on your lap!”