Peter Holthe, whose idea it was to create FOCM had a great sense of humor and loved to play practical jokes.  He especially liked to play them on people who were taking themselves or a situation far too seriously.   He also got himself into some funny situations and his lovely wife, Kara is allowing me to share this story and a couple others.

This story is true, told to me by  Peter in 2007.

One day in November, Peter Holthe went out golfing and got matched up with another solo player and as they played, they got to talking.  The other man explained that he was from out of town and was using rented clubs.  No doubt feeling intimidated by Peter’s crushing drives and better play, the guy began a steady and unrelenting complaint session hole after hole after hole.  How inferior the clubs were, how he was going to sue the golf course for renting such inferior equipment, how much better he is with his own clubs, how he would have made a 70 foot putt if he’d had his putter instead of the piece of junk he got as a rental.

So after the 18th hole when the scores were tallied up, Peter’s score was a 77.  The out of towner commented how that’s what he would have shot if he’d had his clubs.  To which Peter, now faced with a choice of buoying the man’s spirits or saying nothing (following the adage of “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything”) did the humorous thing by taking the road less traveled and he replied:  “Actually, I am also from out of town, and these are my brother’s clubs, I usually play left-handed.

I got a packet of information from my new employer and the very last page of all the printed content was the page shown in the picture.  It struck me as kinda funny.

Paperwork Reduction

Seen in October 2013 Reader’s Digest

George Carlin: I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman, “where’s the self-help section?”  She said, if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

Kudos to Crest for a clever idea and a funny commercial

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnzbZ2RA4qQ

submitted by FOCM member and former womb-mate of mine: Jon Matheus

An 11 year old girl, who was “pre-boarded” on an airplane because of her age, was sitting reading a book waiting for departure.

A man came down the aisle and found his seat next to the girl.

He said to her “I think we should have a conversation during the flight because they say the flight goes faster if you talk to fellow passengers”.

The little girl closed her book and looked at the the man and replied “We could do that, but what would we talk about”.

The man said “We can talk about God, heaven, hell and the hereafter because I am an atheist”.

The girl said “That would be very interesting, but first I have to ask you a question.  You do know that a deer, a horse and a cow all eat the same thing, grass”.

The man nodded his head in agreement.

The girl continued “Then can you explain to me why the deer poops those little “pellets”, the cow poops those big messy “pies”, and the horse poops the real big pieces?”  After some thought the man replied “No.  I can’t explain those differences.”

Then the little 11 year old girl picked up her book, opened it to her page and said “How do you profess to be able to discuss God, heaven, hell and the hereafter, when you don’t know shit”?