Author: Chris Matheus

Tina Fey – Business & Networking Consultant?

I certainly did not expect to find tips on business and networking in Tina Fey’s book “Bossypants”, yet there it is on pages 84 and 85.  It is entitled: The Rules of Improvisation.  Within these two pages are solid advice on how to socially interact with others.  The gems of wisdom are part sales technique, part interpersonal communication and how to succeed in business.  She says the first rule is: AGREE; by agreeing, you are respecting what your partner (target customer, new acquaintance) has created.  She points out that we all know people whose first answer to anything is no. As in, “no we  can’t do that, no that’s not in the budget.”

The second rule is to not only say yes, but to say yes, and.  This is good advice to follow in business or social networking settings; how to keep a conversation going.  Agree with something the person talking to you is saying and then add something to that.  It is your responsibility to contribute and add to the discussion.

The third rule is “Make Statements”. “Whatever the problem, be part of the solution.  Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.”

The last rule is: “There are no Mistakes”, only opportunities.

The other ~280 pages of the book are very funny and witty and I highly recommend reading this book.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bossypants/113835875370231?fref=ts

Nymphomaniac Convention

Submitted by Bob Troeller

_ A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he

_ settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful
_ woman boarding the plane.
_
_ He soon realized she was heading straight towards
_ his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat
_ right beside his.
_
_ Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out,
_ “Business trip or pleasure?”
_
_ She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to
_ the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in
_ Boston.”
_
_ He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman
_ he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was
_ going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.
_
_ Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly
_ asked, “What’s your business role at this
_ convention?” “Lecturer,” she responded. “I use
_ information that I have learned from my personal
_ experiences to debunk some of the popular myths
_ about sexuality.” “Really?” he said. “And what kind
_ of myths are there?”
_
_ “Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that
_ African-American men are the most well-endowed of
_ all men, when in fact it is the Native American
_ Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
_
_ Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best
_ lovers when actually it is men of Jewish descent who
_ are the best.
_
_ I have also discovered that the lover with
_ absolutely the best stamina is the Southern
_ Redneck.”
_
_ Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and
_ blushed. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I shouldn’t really
_ be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even
_ know your name.”
_
_ “Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Goldstein, but my
_ friends call me Bubba.”

Proof of the Power of Networking

submitted by Alicia Kelley

I am living proof of the power of networking.

About 4 years ago, I found myself in desperate need of a job. I can
tell you, after being a stay-at-home mom for over 13 years, my resume
was anything but sparkling! A friend of mine insisted that Chris
Matheus could help me. She explained my situation to him and he
graciously agreed to meet with me. I had never met Chris before, but
after our meeting (which spanned from breakfast into lunch), he put me
in contact with a friend of his whom he thought could benefit from my
past sales experience. This friend had a small but growing company and
needed some help. With so many candidates to choose from, I was
actually in shock when I got the job! Clearly, I would never have been
hired if not for Chris and his extensive network of friends and
business contacts.

That job eventually led to an even more lucrative job at a reputable
company in the Research Triangle Park area of NC. (One good thing
leads to another.) It’s evident to me that without Chris Matheus’
help, I would never have the wonderful job that I have today and the
financial security that goes along with it.

You never know what opportunities await you through the power of
networking. Not only did I land a great job, but I made a lifelong
friend in the process… And for that, I am forever grateful!

Philospher Jokes

Submitted by Andrew Smith

Rene Descartes is sitting in a cafe.  He orders coffee.

The waiter asks, “Would you like cream?”

Descartes replies, “I think not!” … and Descartes disappears.

 

Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of “Being and Nothingness”.  He says to the waitr5ess, “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.”

The waitress replies, “I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream.  How about with no milk?”

 

Heisenberg and Schrodinger are on a road trip, when a cop pulls them over.  The officer walks up and asks if they know how fast they’re going.

Heisenberg replies that they do not, but they do know with high precision where they are.

The cop thinks that is a weird response and begins to search the vehicle.  He opens the trunks and asks, “did you know you have a dead cat in the trunk?”

Schrodinger says, “well, now, we do.”